“It will all be fine. Don’t overreact”.
“You should smile more”.
“Don’t be so negative”.
Such expressions get thrown around a lot in today’s modern workplace, especially after many employees developed an optimistic outlook to cope with uncertainty during the pandemic lockdown. Unfortunately, this positivity went a little too far, ended up doing more harm than good, and turned to what is known as toxic positivity at work.
To handle this issue, employers should promote a work culture that includes open communication and empathy. There has to be a culture of positivity and optimism balanced with an understanding of the challenges faced by the employees. The employees have to feel comfortable expressing their concerns without feeling judged.
Toxic positivity leads to an unhealthy work environment where employees suppress negative emotions by putting on a mask of positivity. It is counterproductive and leads to a culture of self-denial where employees feel uncomfortable in expressing any negative emotions. This causes a lack of communication and trust between the management and the workforce. Once it becomes part of the organization’s culture, getting rid of it is pretty hard.
That said, the information below will help you understand what toxic positivity does to a workplace, how you can detect it, and what measures you can take to get rid of it.
Now, let us see what the term “toxic positivity” means in terms of the workplace.
What is toxic positivity in the workplace?
Toxic positivity at work refers to the unnecessary emphasis on feelings of positivity to the point that it invalidates or ignores the actual challenges faced by you or others.
Being positive is not toxic, but rather an admirable trait of human nature. However, there is a wide spectrum of emotions and experiences one has to undergo, and positivity does not come from suppressing these. Toxic positivity dismisses all negative emotions and replaces them with cheerful false positives. It pushes your positive thinking to such an extreme that no other emotions matter.
To make it simple, let us take a look at two examples that depict toxic positivity at work in its worst form.
Example 1
You feel let down by someone you trusted and decided to share the experience with a colleague at work. But, when you express sadness or disappointment over what happened, they simply respond with, “Happiness is a choice”, which suggests that no matter how wrong the other person is, it is your fault if you are experiencing negative emotions.
Example 2
Someone dear to you passed away and you are experiencing too much emotional pain. When you share it with a friend, they simply state, “everything happens for a reason”. They think that saying so will comfort you, but it does nothing more than help them avoid what you are going through.
Keep in mind, thinking positively is not a bad thing. But, when taken to the extreme, everything is harmful including having too much positivity. Unfortunately, many people fail to separate toxic positivity from positive thinking. So, let us dispel this confusion once and for all.
Toxic positivity requires you to remain positive at all times, no matter how painful or bad a situation might go. On the other hand, positive thinking is a coping strategy to deal with negative emotions through positive thinking strategies without denying the underlying emotions.
Now, for you to know if there is too much toxic positivity in the workplace, there are a couple of signs to watch out for.
However, first, let us see how we ourselves promote toxic positivity without even knowing.
How we unknowingly practice toxic positivity in the workplace
A few years back, employees were treated as worker bees in a beehive. Every employee had a certain quota of tasks to fulfill to meet a larger goal, at any cost. However, bees do not feel the need to care for each other’s work, but people do. We experience a wide range of emotions in our daily lives, and watching another fellow human being suffer in pain does affect our mood.
At the same time, we go to great lengths to avoid empathizing with someone if we know the experience will drain us emotionally. We are worried about absorbing negative emotions while acknowledging the negative experience of another person.
Thus, toxic positivity at work arises because we all are trying to be as comfortable as possible without having to do anything extra. It gives us blind hope that with enough positivity, bad things are less likely to occur, which is an unrealistic expectation.
Signs of toxic positivity at work
Toxic positivity can happen on an interpersonal level as well as become a workplace culture issue. When the management pushes the idea of staying positive no matter what the cost, it does not take much time for toxic positivity to spread amongst the employees in the organization.
So here are 4 tell-tale signs that toxic positivity at work has infiltrated your organization.
1. Coworkers always telling you to be happy
During work, if you express genuine concerns about an upcoming project with a coworker and the response is to “just be positive” or “look towards the bright side”, that is toxic positivity at play. You shared a genuine concern only for your coworker advising you to ignore it completely.
Doing this affects not only the organization but also downplays how a potential roadblock could knock the project delivery date off the rails. Moreover, it can also lead to blaming games, which team members will indulge in if the project fails or is delayed. So, too much positivity destroys the calm and peaceful environment of the workplace.
Telling someone to always be happy not only impacts their emotional health but also affects their dedication toward work. They are less likely to share any concerns the next time and only do the bare minimum at work.
2. The management does not acknowledge hardships
At times, an employee might be facing problems in family life. Now, when they decide to share the same with the upper management, they are advised to “look on the bright side”, which is a poor way to respond.
In the workplace, everyone is expected to leave their personal troubles at the door and be happy to work, but it is not possible at all times. Though, no one wants to be around a person who is negative all the time. But, sharing a genuine issue only to be advised to think positively is not a good idea.
Having genuine worries is frustrating, especially if they impact an employee’s productivity. So, the failure to address and listen to what the employee is experiencing is a bad idea. It is more likely to make them believe that the organization is concerned more with how much profit it makes than the well-being of its employees.
3. Poor outcome of the organization is overlooked
If your organization is not doing well in terms of business and revenue, it is natural to feel worried about your future. But, the management might not be open to sharing the severity of the situation with the employees fearing it might cause panic.
Unfortunately, not addressing the worries of employees concerning the future of the company is another form of toxic positivity. As a manager, you might be a bit positive about the company’s future, but pretending that nothing bad will happen does not make the situation any better. This results in creating a work environment that is riddled with fear and uncertainty.
Uncertainty about the company’s future makes employees develop a fear of unexpected job loss, which also gives rise to the problem of quite quitting in the long run.
4. Positivity prevails over logic
When the organization starts valuing positivity over logic, employees find it hard to look for a solution to setbacks or organizational changes. Setbacks and disagreements are part of every organization and logic helps you think rationally about how to resolve them. Being logical is more practical and less taxing than trying to be positive at all times, which requires you to ignore the reality of the workplace.
Unfortunately, this forced positivity comes at a cost. Employees often do not share any work-related failures, workplace conflicts, and interpersonal issues. In the long run, this causes the workforce to ignore all problems with their work, and the organization, and develop a laid-back attitude.
Now, there is a common belief amongst employees that toxic positivity at work and gaslighting are the same. Let’s find out.
Negative Impact of Toxic Positivity
Given below are 4 ways in which toxic positivity at work impacts the overall work environment.
1. Causes distrust among colleagues
If a team manager keeps saying that “everything is fine” even if the employee knows the company is incurring losses, the employee might take it as a signal not to trust their seniors. This causes distrust to build up in the workplace.
2. Decreases workplace productivity and motivation
In an environment where one employee cannot trust another, they are less likely to engage and be productive in the long run. Due to an employee’s lack of motivation and productivity, the business owners have to bear the brunt of the loss. In short, this is what toxic positivity looks like.
3. Ruins the Company Culture
Forcing the employees to have a positive mindset amidst chaos puts additional pressure on their overall well-being. Everyone feels like they need to be their best all the time, which is a major reason behind employee burnout. This forced positivity turns into a burden that slowly impacts the overall company culture.
4. Leads to Triangulation
Triangulation is the result of toxic positivity at work. It occurs when a manager is focused on getting positive vibes from the team and sidelines the issues impacting them. As a result, team members speak to other people instead of approaching them.
Now, to counter this issue, there are a couple of steps the organization can take. Let’s check out what these are.
How to deal with toxic positivity at work
Remember, toxic positivity does not affect an organization’s culture overnight. So, it is critical for an organization to take some preventative measures to keep this issue at bay.
1. Adopt an open communication policy
An open communication policy at the workplace encourages employees to come forward and share their thoughts and concerns. It also increases trust, and ownership, and resolves workplace cultural differences. Adopting this policy makes it easier for employees to share feedback, work together, and help the organization grow.
2. Promote mental health in the workplace
Since the pandemic, organizations have started investing in employee physical wellness programs, but this is only a part of the equation. Employees also experience stress, depression, and burnout at the workplace. Employers should promote mental health by raising awareness about it, offering mental health support, and supporting a healthy work-life balance.
3. Offer a supportive work environment
Companies should adopt a positive work environment to help employees feel a sense of belonging and safety in the workplace. Doing this makes them comfortable in showing their true personality without feeling forced to behave a certain way. It also gives them the courage to speak their mind, make mistakes, and be open to interacting with others.
It is important for organizations to spend time knowing employees as a person and not just as a professional. Managers can do this by having one-on-one meetings to know who they are working with, and what motivates them and address any concerns they have.
4. Encourage time off social media
Social media is a faster and more efficient way to help employees remain connected with their family and friends. Unfortunately, you come across content filled with pressure to be positive and happy. There are photos of people who seem eternally happy and living the “perfect life” that you dream of. It is ground zero for toxic positivity, as all that glitters is not gold.
The countless positive messages turn positivity into something toxic. Employers should encourage employees to take time off social media once in a while and pursue real-world interests.
Apart from these, it is the responsibility of the leader to show by example that they are working to eliminate toxic positivity at work. Here’s how they can do their part.
How can leaders be positive without being toxic?
A major challenge in dealing with toxic positivity is that it is often done for good. You might be trying to improve someone’s mood, but might sound dismissive to them.
Now, as a leader, it falls on you to make positive validation a part of the workplace culture to replace toxic positivity. One way in which you can do this is by being authentic. Much like the employees working in an organization, you are not supposed to feel happy all the time. The challenge is to discuss it openly to make you more approachable to the employees.
What you can do is discuss the employee’s concerns without being dismissive of what they are experiencing. Do not blame anyone, but simply get to the root of the problem. Doing this will help them find mistakes, learn from them, and avoid them in the future.
Moreover, if you feel that being positive might feel toxic to the employees, there are a few common statements depicting toxic positivity. Replace them with positive ones. Here’s how.
Toxic Positivity#1 – Cheer Up
Positive Statement – Your feelings are justified. What can I do to help solve the problem?
Toxic Positivity#2 – Don’t think about it
Positive Statement – Tell me how you are feeling.
Toxic Positivity#3 – It’s all going to work out.
Positive Statement – I hear you, and I am sorry that you are going through this.
Now, there are some who compare toxic positivity to gaslighting at the workplace. Read further to know the relation between the two.
Toxic Positivity and Gaslighting in the Workplace
Toxic positivity is when you hide or deny negative feelings and consider them as something “bad”. It is when you rely on superficial reassurances like “looking on the bright side” rather than being empathetic and real with a situation.
Gaslighting refers to manipulation tactics, which are used to make another person question their reality and deny their own thoughts, feelings, or experiences.
There are two things common between these two. First, they can make anyone feel that something is wrong with them. Second, they invalidate what the other person is going through just to appease someone else’s feelings. In these cases, it is the listener trying to avoid the person experiencing something painful or traumatic.
Though it is helpful to look on the bright side of a negative situation. However, if taken to the extreme, this positivity can quickly become manipulative and isolating and this is where toxic positivity takes the form of gaslighting. Let us see how this happens with an example.
An employee in your organization is unable to understand a project assigned to them. They share this concern with their immediate seniors who listen to everything and reply with an “It is not that tough. You are just worrying too much. Keep trying” statement. Now, this might sound a bit positive and uplifting. Unfortunately, it downplays the problems an employee is facing in starting the project. In the long run, this employee is likely to question their own ability to work and fall into a downward spiral of less productivity.
At times, under the guise of positive thinking, one team member might convince another that whatever they are facing is made up and not real. In the long run, it becomes a habit to downplay and invalidate what others are feeling through forced positivity.
Individuals might attempt to coerce, manipulate, or shame someone into staying positive, even when it does not make any sense. This is damaging, as when people believe that their issues are exaggerated, shameful, or don’t exist altogether, it prevents them from seeking help even when they need it most. This damages a person’s ability to experience a wide range of emotions.
Now, it is time to see how toxic positivity leads to a toxic work culture.
A workplace where everyone is forced to be happy and positive all the time is not a good place to be in. Toxic positivity leads to burnout due to feeling an obligation to express an emotion they are not actually feeling. It can diminish the psychological trust and safety one feels in the workplace. In the long run, this makes employees develop feelings of resentment due to not feeling heard or listened to.
However, this does not mean all hope is lost. On the contrary, there are a few steps to help the management know how to deal with toxic positivity and prevent it from plaguing the workplace.
- Create safe spaces for employees to connect authentically with each other. Organize office trips for them to share whatever might be on their mind.
- Practice workplace transparency to help employees develop trust with other employees and their team leads.
- Encourage off-time for employees to focus on personal well-being, rest, recover and return to work rejuvenated.
Too much positivity exacts a heavy toll on the workplace. Read further to know how it impacts employee morale and the overall workplace environment.
Conclusion
Learning to recognize toxic positivity at work helps employees develop a better type of thinking and be authentic without presenting themselves as someone they are not. The organization’s management can help prevent this by adopting an open communication policy, offering mental health support, and complete transparency with their employees. Moreover, embracing a wide range of emotions makes it easier for you to connect with others, be empathetic, and support them when they need it the most.
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